'The Biggest Losers'

“It does not matter whether you win or lose, until you lose.” – Anonymous

When I was a kid, I religiously watched a children’s TV show in which after every game played whoever lost would be called the “almost-winner." Saying the word loser was firmly frowned upon.

Therefore, I learned very early on that “it’s not whether you win or lose” was a completely farce.

Maybe that is why I became a sportswriter, I relish the fact that there is a clear line between winning and losing in an otherwise uncertain world.

Some people have argued that is one of the major reasons why soccer is not as popular in the United States as it is in the rest of the sporting world. Games, right… sorry… MATCHES can end in a tie (fine… DRAW!)

That means that frequently there is no clear-cut victor, which does not appeal to the American winner-takes-it-all sensibility. There surely must be a winner! And most significantly, there has to be a loser!

At the 2010 World Cup, the Netherlands just became soccer’s all-time “almost-winners.”

They are the only nation to have ever made it to sporting world’s biggest stage on three occasions, and lost each one of them.

Yup, they are the Minnesota Vikings and Buffalo Bills of the round-shaped football universe (each with four Super Bowl appearances without a win.)

Great sports champions are always remembered, but certainly just as much as the great losers of all time. Losing franchises are vilified and made fun of … forever.

But how does one measure the “Biggest Loser”?

In the NFL, the New Orleans Saints skated that thin line for a long time, but everything changed in 2009 when they won their first conference title en route to winning Super Bowl XLIV, the first league championship for the phoenix city of New Orleans.

And as much as non-Yankees fans hate the Evil Empire and their unrivaled 27 championships, they get solace in the fact that they are the only team in baseball to have ever choked in a playoffs series after holding a 3-0 lead. To top things off, they succumbed to their archrivals, the Boston Red Sox, who then went on to win their first World Series in 86 years.

The Yanks earned the dubious 'distinction' along with the NHL’s Detroit Red Wings (1942), Pittsburgh Penguins (1975), and the most recent inductee into the pro sports “Hall of Shame”, to the delight of New York fans, the Boston Bruins (2010).

They are the only teams in the four major US professional sports leagues to have lost a best-of-seven playoff series that they led 3-0.

But certainly those flaws can be forgotten when it comes to teams who generally excel in their sport, as the latter franchises have done throughout the years.

And all’s well that ends well when you have a Super Bowl ring with your name on it.

Taking that into consideration, we could nominate baseball teams that have never played in a World Series. There are only three of those franchises active today: the Texas Rangers, the Seattle Mariners and the Washington Nationals.

Not much shame for the Nats, a reincarnation of the Montreal Expos, who have only been around since 2005, or the Mariners, also young guns at 33-years-old.

The Rangers… well… to be kind… since 1961 they have had very ‘limited’ success.

In reality, they are the oldest franchise in US professional sports to have never qualified for a championship game, and the only current professional baseball franchise that has yet to win a play-off series. As a matter of fact, the Rangers have only won one individual play-off game in almost half a century.

But, maybe you prefer losing streaks as a measuring stick.

The Cavs have lost 24 consecutive games to hold the NBA all-time record, the Phillies 23 for MLB's, and the Sharks and the Capitals are tied up in the NHL with 17. But no one can touch the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

The Bucs debuted in the NFL in 1976 with a ghastly record of 0-14. The next season didn't fare much better, and after 12 more consecutive losses, they recorded the top four professional sports longest consecutive losing streak ever, 26 games.

And while the Cleveland Cavaliers hold the 24 game record, which after losing the Lebron sweepstakes does seem like nothing, they are no match for the Memphis Grizzlies in the pro basketball ‘losers’ category.

Since entering the NBA as an expansion franchise in 1995 as the Vancouver Grizzlies, they have barely won just over one-third of their games.

They also have an overall playoff record of 0-12, losing in straight games in every single one of their three playoff appearances, and, to add salt to the wound, it happened in consecutive years (0-4 to San Antonio in 2004, 0-4 to Phoenix in 2005, and 0-4 to Dallas in 2006.)

However, my dear sports fans, there is still hope… and if not... there is always laughter.

Despair.com is one of the most entertaining websites you will run upon. Their witty merchandise not only embraces mediocrity and defeat, it celebrates it. I promise you their demotivators® will make you laugh out loud.

But they are only funny because they are oh so true…

For that reason, to the Netherlands, the Rangers, the Bucs and the Grizzlies, I leave you with my favorite demotivator® from Despair.com:

“The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.”

Losers!

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